“I can resist everything but temptation.”
–Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere’s Fan

Like most people, I strive to be reasonably fit.  I walk religiously, eat my vegetables, and sometimes even do yoga. But I have a serious weakness, a secret yearning for what can only be called the dark side.

By dark, I am speaking literally, for I find that I can resist everything but chocolate.  In more youthful, disciplined days, I would nibble only on small pieces of severely dark chocolate so bitter that I felt rather saintly; but as I mellow with age, I find myself drawn back to the sweeter confections that I loved as child, before saintly self-denial set in.  I’m talking chocolate brownies, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate cake, gooey-filled chocolates, and that devil of darkness: fudge.  Oh, sweet chocolate, forbidden one, how I yearn for you!  I could write sonnets to your name, and I dream of stolen moments . . .

And then, one day, out of the blue, from some mysterious outpost on the internet, along comes a recipe for a relatively “healthy” chocolate brownie that tastes (surprisingly) delicious and can be eaten in broad daylight.

Click here to read the entire post 🙂

Devastating earthquake on Ecuador’s Coast, April 16, 2016.

The Ecuadorian Navy sends helicopters filled with food, water and supplies to the fishing village of El-Matal  where I used to live.  Death toll is currently at 650 with 12, 500  injured and 130 still missing.

Elegy for Ecuador

After the quaking and breaking—

and that eternal silence, begging for

sounds of life, everything continues to sway.

Everything still trembles: hills, trees, children, animals,

even the sky.

Life teeters perilously inside the invisible parts, where

the devastation is just getting started.

A skinny dog spreads her black body over the rubble

that was her home, clinging stubbornly

to the spot:  a life raft on a treacherous sea.

She waits for humans who will never return.

A ceibo tree weeps in the distance.

The equatorial sun dips into the sea too soon,

too fast,

abandoning the beleaguered mass of humanity,

while the swash

claims intimate pieces of

once well-ordered lives—

now flotsam and jetsam, swept away.

The tide groans on into the night.

At first light, snowy egrets spread their angelic white wings

over rivers of sorrow, like angels from some other world.

In the still-quivering shrimp ponds below the hills,

the cows catch a reflection of something large,

a heap of darkness, a sound, a whirl.

A helicopter flies overhead, and then another,

filled with hope.

And between the ruptured

blue hills veiled in grief,

caravans of healing and solidarity overcome buckled roads

and falling rocks,

pushing toward the coast and its sorrowful tale.

Ecuador’s collective pain rouses the old ways of indigenous

resilience, a tacit sense of connection in which all are

brothers, sisters, cousins: family.

Even the earth and the trees:  family. 

Family, faith, and that ancient embrace of sumak kawsay—

life at its fullest—

all rises to meet the devastation and death with

resilience and love.

This is Ecuador, the land of beauty and family

and irrepressible hope.

Ecuador lies in ruins, but

Ecuador can never, never be broken.

Patricia Adams Farmer lived on the coast of Ecuador (Bahia, El Matal-Jama, and Manta)  from 2011-2015.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.  We all know the folly of this childhood chant.  We know that words can hurt, divide, inflame, shame, and even bring about wars.  Dangerous words spill from the mouths of those who want attention, from those who feel threatened, and, these days, from politicians who seek to divide and conquer.

But According to Brené Brown, celebrated researcher on shame and vulnerability, the two most perilous words on the planet are not often spoken aloud.  They are our little secret.  But they cause a great deal of mischief in our lives and in the world. . . . Click here to read more 🙂

My mother died.  Those three words are hard to write, let alone process.  For me, the finality of never hearing my mother’s voice again or having the chance to talk over old issues or discover something new about her childhood—are all swallowed up in a black hole of mystery that is beyond me now.  Game’s up.  No more chances.  It feels kind of brutal and unfair.

But she was elderly and ready to go and died peacefully in the night, the way we all wish to go.  So I did not anticipate any earth-shaking emotions.  How wrong I was!  A parent’s passing under any condition is never anything but earth-shaking. . . . Click here to read more 🙂

Source: Grief Takes a Road Trip

This Lent, go lean in the daily frills and food departments if you must, but give the soul plenty of nourishment.   After all, Lent is a time for soul expansion.   I think of it like this: After Fat Tuesday, it’s time for Fat Soul, that is, for expanding the soul to obscenely large proportions.  Go ahead and indulge!  You are probably starving for quality soul-time by now.

As a companion in your soul-expanding adventure, I offer my new book Fat Soul: A Philosophy of S-I-Z-E, reflections on growing the soul.   This is a book not only for Christians who observe Lent, but for audaciously large souls of all faiths.

Here is a bit about my new book and what people are saying about it:

“Within these pages lies a creative adventure into soul expansion for the sake of beauty, reconciliation, and planetary well-being. Themes of self-compassion, kindness towards those who are different, and gladness of spirit against the growing tide of narrow, rigid, fearful worldviews weave through the text. Written during her five-year sojourn in Ecuador, the author of Embracing a Beautiful God develops her playful-yet-serious philosophy of S-I-Z-E in a series of soul-expanding reflections, inspired by the vast beauty and personal challenges of living in the Andean country. The reader is invited to explore with the author the many dimensions of growing the soul through the four major sections of the book: The Beauty of Inner Immensity, Fat Soul Planet, Fat Soul Luminaries, and The S-I-Z-E of Hope.”

“Fat Soul is the result of an outlandish feast spread by an extravagant Lover who longs for us to awaken to the spaciousness of our own inner universe. It’s so big you almost feel weightless.”  —Tim Carson, author of Six Doors to the Seventh Dimension.

“In a world constricted into brittle, rigid smallness, Patricia Farmer cracks open our hearts and invites us into a great, big bear hug of soul.  Fat Soul holds out the possibility of a life lived whole, lived large, lived with love and generosity. This is a book I will read again and again, and you should too!”—Rabbi Bradley Shavit Artson, author of God of Becoming and Relationship.

“This is the book you didn’t know you needed to read, and then, when you’ve read it, you wonder, ‘Where has this book been all my life?’ Well, here it is. Chock full of practical life-learned wisdom and intriguing bouquets of fresh imagery, Patricia Farmer’s riffs on enlarging one’s river of life overflow with warmth, vitality, and unforgettable insight. Get ready for an abundant feast!” —David Polk, author of God of Empowering Love.

“Patricia Farmer invites us to claim our grandeur, face our darkness, and out of this creative synthesis bring healing to this good earth. This text should be read slowly as you would savor a Godiva chocolate, so that it might flavor your spirit and invite you to taste and see the beauty of life. As you read this text, prepare to be transformed.” —Bruce G. Epperly, author of Process Theology: A Guide for the Perplexed

Fat Soul: A Philosophy of S-I-Z-E  is now available on amazon.com in both paperback ($8.95) and Kindle edition ($2.99).

And be sure to visit our new Fat Soul International website www.fatsoul.org.

Blessings and Peace,

Patricia